Dear
Husbands,
This is what we want you to know
and sometimes cannot voice to you or, we cannot find the words to say to tell
you because when we do it comes out sounding ridiculous or silly.
First of all we love you; we
love you more than we have ever loved anyone else. We love being with you all
of the time and although “girl’s night” is fun we spend the whole night
thinking about you and we are excited to get home and see you. We don’t really
get what you mean when you say time apart is good because we do not feel that
way. We don’t think you are a bad husband when you say you need to get out with
the guys but it hurts a little when you act like you need time away from us. We
make a big deal about things like that not because we think every time you go
out you are lying to us but we make a big deal about it because it feels like
rejection even when it isn’t. We said yes to marrying you because we loved
being with you and we think time with you makes us better and makes our life
amazing.
We love doing things for you. We
have a lot going on when we get married to you because we have to take on
things that before us your mother did or sometimes you did yourself but not as
well as we do it. So basically we take over being your mom in the way where we
make sure you have clean clothes and a clean home and food to eat. Not only do
we take over that but we also take on being your best friend and your lover. When
you get sick we want to be the ones that nurse you back to health. We do make
fun of you for the way a cold will keep you bed ridden for days at a time but that’s
just a front. We love playing “nurse” for you. We hate that when you are sick
sometimes your mom still tries to come take care of you. We feel like she is
overstepping her boundaries and we want her gone. No, not dead but out of state
or something. No, you are no longer her baby, you are our husband and we don’t call
her to come clean the bathroom or cook your meals so we most certainly don’t want
her help when you have the sniffles. We would rather be stressed out and moody
than admit that we are having trouble keeping up with everything. We want to do
it all and be it all for you and we wouldn’t change this for the world but it
can be overwhelming. We want everything to be perfect for you and when its not
we tend to lash out…at you. I know its crazy and you won’t get it but when
something goes wrong and we feel like we have let you down we get really
frustrated with everything. Sorry this probably won’t ever change just like
your reaction to it probably won’t change.
If we argue, no matter how big
or small we want to make up in a big way. It has to be completely clear in our
minds that the argument is over and that you like us again. We don’t need the
silent treatment to know we were being a brat…we usually know while we are
doing it. If the argument is your fault we do want an apology but mostly we
just want to be happy and feel like you love us. Seriously, most of our bratty
moods come from our insecurities.
When you asked us to marry you,
you gave us a gift. Yes the ring, and yes we care about the ring but not so
much the size just that you gave us the best that you could because we are
worth it. The best gift was the worth that you gave us, you set us apart and
that meant more to us than anything. You gave us a confidence that only betrayal
from you could shake. We felt like the luckiest girl in the world that day and
we still do. Sometimes we wake up in the middle of the night and we see you
next to us and we just smile. We feel like the chosen one…mostly because we
are. The saying that a happy girl is the prettiest kind of girl is so true! When
we feel loved and safe our whole personality is better and when we feel good we
want to look good.
We really do think you are the
best looking guy in the world. We know you have seen better looking people than
us and we know you are aware that we have seen better looking people but to us
you are it. There is no one else in the world that can compare to you because
Adam Levine has not loved us and taken care of us like you have. We are not as
physically oriented as you are so yes, we are attracted to the man who takes
care of us. You are our hero every single day. We will make comments about
other guys to get back at you for talking about other girls but it’s not
serious it is just retaliation. We are jealous (if there is a woman who says
she isn’t she is lying and she is not a good wife). We are not jealous in the
way where we think you even have a chance with Adriana Lima or Megan Fox but we
are jealous in the way where we can’t airbrush our bodies for you and we like
to eat. Once again we know that you being attracted to other people doesn’t make
you a bad husband at all but we are still going to secretly (or not so
secretly) hate that other girl. We feel less pretty when compared to others
even if we know we are better looking.
If you betray us or walk away
from us you may as well have told us we are worthless. You have taken away
something amazing and beautiful and we know it will get better but we don’t ever
feel like we will be the same. Just because you may have decided that you didn’t
love us doesn’t mean our love for you was able to disappear. We still have the
same love and care for you and it’s haunting. If you don’t walk away but you
have betrayed us and want to work things out with us it’s basically starting
over. No, we don’t trust you anymore but we love you and we want to build that
trust back up again. We know we can’t keep bringing the past up because or relationship
is new but we have moments where the memory of your betrayal takes our breath
away and we don’t know what to do. Give us time and don’t yell at us for being
upset. Understand that if we didn’t want things to work out we wouldn’t be here
trying but also realize that it’s going to take time and effort on your part
and if we aren’t worth that then don’t come back.
When we first get married and
you get sick it scares us. We feel like you may die and since you act like you
are going to die its easier for us to get worked up over. I guess we know a
cold isn’t going to kill you but at the same time you are our hero and seeing
you weak and sickly makes us worry. Sometimes we put on a brave face when we
are handing you your Nyquil and then we get all teary eyed when we walk out of
the room. It doesn’t help our mental state that we stayed up all night making
sure you were sleeping and not dead. We know it’s crazy and uncalled for to be
that worried but we love you and we don’t want anything bad to happen to you.
We believe in you more than
anyone else ever has. We may disagree with you about things but we think you
can do anything. You are our husband and we seriously adore you.
Sincerely,
The Good Wives
This was amazing and all of it is spot on.
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