Another Day in My Life

            On Monday afternoon I got home from work and cleaned my bathroom and bedroom (these rooms were becoming hazardous) and then decided I would lay on my bed until I had to get up and get ready for church. Every time I leave work I feel exhausted and always think OK nap time! Well since I had been moving around right when I got home I actually managed to boost my energy and so when I finally got on my bed the desire to nap was gone. Sometimes I try and force myself to nap because I know that there will be a day when I really need one and I wont have the time and then I will regret all the days that I could have napped and didn't  The whole forcing thing was a fail! first I tried to get all cozy and wrapped up to make myself feel nice and calm and ready for sleep, instead I got hot and sweaty and irritated. Then I just sat there staring at the ceiling and willing myself to fall asleep, no good. That’s when I made a fat girl decision…get up and bake cookies! Yeah there was no get up and work out girl! By the way on a side note the whole working out and eating better thing has just been non existent in my life and I intend to walk tonight to get back into the groove and I also ate tuna on crackers (triscuits) for lunch. I wouldn't say I am back into it full throttle but I’m slowly climbing onto the healthy band wagon again. So, like I was saying it was not like ‘hey fatty lets go walk’ it was like ‘hey cutie go make some yummy cookies to keep on your curves’ LOL. I had this super simple recipe for Coffee Cake cookies and so I decided to that but the recipe called for a roll of pre-made sugar cookie dough, even I didn't have that on hand. I love to bake and I am good at it so I thought no biggy I will just make sugar cookie dough and do it that way and then the cookies will be even better! I found an easy sugar cookie dough recipe…thank you Google and went to the cupboard to get out all my ingredients. OK so not only did I not have the pre-made dough but I didn't have all of the ingredients I needed to make the dough and even worse I didn't really have any food. You would think that, that knowledge right there would have deterred my baking demons but no, instead of thinking ‘hey run to the store and get some real food and eat dinner.’ I thought ‘hey run to the store and get that roll of cookie dough’! Well I wasn't fully dressed and my hair was in a super messy (not in the cute way) bun and I just looked a mess. OK so I admit it, my lazy girl was just ruling my life that day and so I just decided that I would put a skirt on and a hoodie and some flip flops and the hair could stay as was because I was just gonna run into CVS and get the few things I needed. No one who goes there or works there would care and it was an in and out job. CVS let me down in a big way that night, CVS never lets me down! I stood there in the aisle contemplating my entire life as I realized they didn't have really anything that I needed. I wanted to complain to someone who would understand but my appearance stopped me from making eye contact with anyone to see if they would be able to relate. Yes, I wanted someone to relate to the lazy, messy cookie monster that I had become. I literally sulked my entire way out of CVS and decided I would go to Wegmans. Biggest. Mistake. Ever. I mean when I say I had on a hoodie and skirt and flip flops you can imagine a cute outfit and messy buns aren't always that bad but this was not “cute girl grunge” this was more like “don’t leave your house because people with think you’re a crystal meth user grunge.” this was not a night for making good decisions and luckily for me I had to go to church so I didn't make any decisions that would be life shaming. I did however feel like it was appropriate to go into Wegmans looking like trash. I mean some people do it...ya know flannel pajama pants and an over sized t-shirt, I am not kidding when I say I would have looked better in that than what I had on. I flip flopped my way into Wegmans, nearly killing myself because it had been raining and Old Navy’s flip flops are not safe when soaked! I nearly broke my ankle slipping around like five times from the parking lot to the life saving carpets in the entrance. OMG I was not even walking with Grace and Dignity. Such a mess!! I did a decent job of getting what I needed and getting to the checkout and that’s when I realized, some really cute guys work at Wegmans. Some really cute guys who work at Wegmans now know what I look like when I am not trying and that right there hurts me in the worst way. I get into line and look up and momentarily forget that I am Cinderella before the fairy God Mother and drug rehab and think Ooooh he is such a cutie. He wasn't even a cutie in the ‘I am 16 and this is my first job’ kind of way so there was no guilt when my heart started beating all irregularly. I was all smiley and sweet and then I take a step forward and my darn slippery flip flops quickly brought me back to reality. It was too late to back down now but wow, I must have looked like a fool. I am acting like I just spent hours getting cute and realistically he is probably thinking wow, I should be nice to her so she doesn't do anything weird. I am sure the “cute” smile on my face made me look like a crazed stalker. I walked out of Wegmans with a wisdom that I never needed so much and that is this…do NOT ever go into Wegmans without looking good. The workers there are cute, the customers there are cute, and you will see people you know almost every time. Take those five minutes to find a cute and comfy outfit, do something semi decent with your hair or better yet only go when you have already been somewhere that you needed to look cute for. I usually go after church so this is not an issue I generally have but now I am aware and I want to make all of you aware. There should be a book on Wegman’s awareness and the first topic should be how to dress when you visit Wegmans. I guess maybe this would be a good practice for life no matter where you go. I am not over the top and I don’t think heels are necessary or even appropriate for a park but there is a standard of decency that should be in all of us. I apparently need to practice this more than I thought. I do wonder, if my flip flops had the diamond studs on the straps would this have helped my case at all…?