11.08.2011

Warning: I do refer to unborn babies as Lima Beans.

How many women do you suppose got pregnant just so they would have something er...rather someone to blame for their emotional, hormonal train wreck of an existence? Heck at that point you have two people to blame. Your stud of a husband and the tiny lima bean looking thing that turns into a baby. Yes, yes I know it must be different when it's your lima bean and you're squealing about it like its already the gerber baby; but honestly that blob in the grainy black and white ultra sound pic looks like a lima bean and nothing more. I can openly admit that one day when I have that poor excuse for my babies first picture, I am going to show anyone I come in contact with. I will point out details that no one else notices because they don't know what they are looking for. I will also refer to my baby as this many weeks old even though no one throws the kid a party (no moms don't fool yourselves the shower was all about you and what you wanted. Junior doesn't know what he is gonna want to wear or what crib sheet he wants) until you start referring to them as at least a year old. Can you imagine telling people "today is Juniors 48 week birthday party"? I can't. I will however do these things with pride and you wanna know why? Because I will love that little lima bean the minute I know it exists, but I will also blame almost everything on him/her. I sometimes want to be pregnant just so I don't get asked the constant questions of: Is it just an off day? Are you PMSing? Is your husband treating you ok? Or my husbands favorite one: what's wrong with you now? To all these questions I would have an answer...Im Pregnant. That pretty much explains away any question when it comes to your sanity. Also when I wanna eat more than enough food for three of me at one meal. Ill just pat the baby belly and smile. When im tired ill say the pregnancy is making me tired. When I don't want to do something ill just say that its not good for the baby. "Oh babe you needed the clothes washed? The doc said its not good for me to pick up the clothes. Could hurt the baby you know?" Or "sorry I just slapped you when you asked how im feeling...its the pregnancy" shoot some people have told me they had to get up in the middle of the night and eat cause the baby was hungry! Its amazing the things you can do or say when you are pregnant and people just believe you and let it happen. So not that I ever turn my husband down, because I don't...EVER, but the next time he gets that "loving feeling" my answer is not just yes but heck yes! Knock me up and give me an excuse to make you work like a slave! Give me an excuse to eat alot, and cry alot, and get fat, and have you still supporting my every bad habit. Yay to all you expectant mothers out there loving your unborn child and making the world pay for it. I truly sometimes wish I was you :)

1 comment:

  1. Lol! Loved it, but just a warning you only get to pull that crap the first time around. After the second or third your husband couldn't care less what your craving is...lol!

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