Life...is not what I thought it was

To anyone reading this blog, I am forewarning you. The subject I am speaking on is somewhat delicate and involves a prostitute and some of my family members. This blog is my own view on my life and my revelation and we live in America so I have the freedom to feel and say whatever I want (at least for now) ;) If you feel uncomfortable in any way do not read it and honestly if truth makes you uncomfortable you should probably delete my blog from your list. For anyone whose interest was sparked read on...

Today I went to my parents house to see my sister and get her help and expert advice on Valentines Day card making. The house is always somewhat chaotic with at least 3 young children there at all times. Today was no different and in fact it was the first time in a long time kids and loud noises didn't just irritate me. The little princess (Eva) is sick and my sister is currently without a car. She took mine and I stayed with my parents and the kids while she went to get medicine. Unfortunately Wal-Mart during the first week of month on super bowl weekend meant the thirty minute trip took two hours. During this two hours something happened. Let me give you a quick run down on my uncle's recent activity so you can better understand the story. In the past year or more, I believe it has been longer, he left his family, started dating a prostitute he met, and was no longer hush hush about his various addictions. I have felt disgusted for my aunt and cousins and just disturbed that a man who called himself a man of God could go that low. Let me just interject a belief of mine...at your lowest you are in the best position to be rescued. I haven't thought of it that way at all until now. I felt simply disgusted. He had a family! He broke their hearts and tore that family apart for a woman who made money by doing various acts of intimacy with many, many men. I would shudder and be repulsed just thinking about it. I would speak out in anger when someone mentioned it and I didn't want her near me or my family. Without even meeting this woman I had her branded and hell bound. My life is no cake walk and my attitude just sucks most of the time but I am a faithful wife and I couldn't imagine a man leaving a faithful wife for something so broken. I still do not understand and I never want to have to know that feeling. I talk so much about unconditional love and true love and not judging people and yet I never had to put it to practice with someone that I didn't know. As I write this there are literally tears in my eyes because something in me is finally breaking and finally realizing.
My uncle and who, until today I referred to as the prostitute that ruined my cousins lives, showed up at my parents. She sat in the car while my uncle came in. He looked skinny to me and beat down and I stared at the man who's house I had grown up in. He is not that man anymore. He was hungry, almost starved and they had no money so he was picking up some things my dad was holding for him and he was going to pawn it. He said for gas and food but it could have been drugs and cigarettes. I don't even care what it is anymore. Him and my dad talked and went from the garage to the house getting things ready. When they came back in my dad said that my uncles girlfriend wouldn't come in. She didn't feel comfortable. After all we were the family of the people who's home was wrecked. When my dad said she wouldn't come in I didn't even feel relieved I felt broken. I felt what she must feel every day of her life. Drugs and sex are not who she is, it is what she does because she is bound by sin. It's no different than the pretty girl who drinks all night with her friends and has sex with many boys but who holds a normal job and lives a seemingly happy life. The only difference is that this woman chose prostitution as her way to get money for her next fix and so they labeled her with the name 'Prostitute.' My dad asked me to get my uncle some food while they finished up in the garage and before I could stop myself I said "What should I make for...." I am not going to write her name on here. I don't think that's important after all I don't have their permission to write this so some anonymity is probably necessary. My uncle just said that if I didn't mind making two of what he was having then she might eat that. I fully expected them to take it out to the car for her but God knows. She came into the house a few minutes later cautiously and with no reserve I went up to her and welcomed her into the house. She didn't even look that old and she just started going on and on about how beautiful my parents house was and how much she adored my niece and nephews. Whatever I expected from a prostitute was not what I saw. Now I obviously know that they are human but I never pictured them as people. Sure she has scars, wounds even and she is broken. That's ok with me because that just means she can be fixed and rescued. Her and my uncle both. My dad said that when they were leaving she kept saying how nice we were. I would much rather that than her having had to sit in the car eating a bowl of chili alone. God knows what he is doing and I am going with that rather than my own self justified ideas. I'm not saying that God made my uncle mess up his families life so a prostitute had a chance to meet Jesus. I am saying that God can make any situation into something good and perfect. Now my uncle and his girlfriend and my aunt and my cousins have a chance to finally be saved. They all already thought they were and yes God can have mercy on anyone he chooses but now I believe that they have an even greater chance to get what they really need.
I do not ever want to look at a person at just assume I know their life story. How can I know what hurts and fears a person has, I can't. How can I know why they live the way they do? Today I learned something about myself. I learned something about a woman that I had pre judged. We all want love but more than that we all need love.