I dont know

Since the last time I posted a blog on here a few things have changed.the biggest and most important change is my job. I quit the hell I called a job and started a brand new job. Its a completely different environment and a so much better! I love my job. I love the people I work with and there are many great benefits to having this new job. Things are changing all around me. The weather has changed drastically since my last post. Its now usually cold but the colors outdoors are amazing. The oranges and red are in full bloom and everything is so pretty. I despise winter yet I love fall. I like that it can be warmer in the day time and cool at night and I like that apple and pumpkin treats are abounding. I love apple cider and egg not and all of that. Im gonna especially love having this thanksgiving holiday off. Yay! Another score for the new job. For the most part everything is good. The one thing I feel as though im having a hard time balancing is yet another speed bump on the road to happily married. No, no my husband hasn't done anything horrendous. He isn't a horrible man and im not done with marriage. I just seem to realize that sometimes there is a fine line between providing for your family and tearing your relationship to shreds! I have to wonder how good is it for your husband to never be home because he works constantly. How much is it actually benefitting our family for him to not be around because he works from seven in the morning till midnight. So we have been paying our bills but we barely have communication. When we are together its like one of us is always exhausted and grumpy and the other is feeling so neglected that they don't have the patience to deal with it. Its not ok to go out and work hours upon hours and think you're servicing your family when you're really not doing any good for the family its also not ok for me to neglect my home just because i get home a little later from work now. I think the one thing that's so hard to balance is a good life and support system from just being a financial supporter. Its like wow I don't have a husband or wife...I have a financial sponsor of this union. Its funny because usually sponsors aren't in the actual event. When someone sponsors you for a walk-a-thon they aren't walking with you they just pay you for doing it. In marriage you need support but you also participation. Im not saying im doing this and my husbands not im saying that lately both of us have checked out of the relationship thinking we are doing some good by being more financially supportive. I do however feel like at this point im the one who realizes its a problem. Whenever I try to bring it up its not received very well. How do you tell a man that even though he thinks he is doing good that he is dead wrong? I would rather live in a cardboard box and have him with me more often then have to deal with this life everyday without him. When you scream this at him apparently its not considered sweet or caring...its judged as nagging and not appreciating him. I try to look at it like a labor of love but when I have a roommate more than I have a husband its really hard to see. What to do? I don't know. This post isn't going to end with me giving the answer or finding revelation. This post is gonna end with me wondering how something so fragile and breaking is gonna end up in a strong loving union.